Dear Universe,
I want to talk about art.
My childhood was quite bereft of art, in all honesty. But not because my parents didn’t care about it. I was sent to art classes and stuff, but everything eventually fell apart because I did not have the passion for it, which is so different from the way I am now. I was academically gifted, math, science, language all came naturally to me. My memory was exceptional as a child, and as I grew up people kept on telling me how smart I was and blablabla. Well, thanks I guess. My brother, on the other hand, was a talented writer and artist, and he got the title of family artist. I was the family nerd, and he was the family artist. I just went with it. I somehow convinced myself that art just was not my thing, and I could not understand it. I somehow convinced myself that I was not an artist, and I was forever cursed to be the family nerd. I went on like this, somehow living this lie that I could never understand art and I should just focus on math.
A big turning point for me was visiting a modern art gallery in Germany during my exchange program, called Pinakothek der Moderne. We were told to peruse the gallery and choose a single artwork that speaks to us and why. It was a fun exercise, because it forced me to find meaning and reasoning to why I liked something. But really struck me deeply was the curator. Once we had chosen our art pieces, the curator went around explaining the backgrounds of all the works we chose, paying attention to the smallest details. Where I saw just a pretty painting, he saw historical references, painting technique and so much more. The curator saw much more than I ever could. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a painting for its aesthetic, but the way his eyes saw things I could not even perceive. It was almost as though he was engaging with the painting or sculpture, like it was an experience not a painting. It really stuck with me throughout life. This was my first encounter with wonderment.
More recently, my growing interest in art has solidified further after finding one of my favourite Youtube channels of all time: The Art Assignment. It’s a channel about art, dedicated to discussing, creating and sharing it and it’s hosted by Sarah Green, you might know her less famous husband, John Green? The videos they put out always make me happy and are so fun to watch. They basically take a concept and run with it, discussing works of art that speak to it and how it relates to us as a species. I learn so much about the world, its art, its history, please watch it if you can! Sarah never fails to teach me something, and the biggest thing she has taught me is about compassion and openness. She always approaches the topics with so much openness and consideration, it’s amazing. She takes into consideration its history in the art world, the controversial aspects of it, shows appreciation for the art that speaks to it. When she looks at a work of art, she opens herself up to the wonderment of art. It is beautiful, I cannot truly explain how beautiful it is.
I think what draws me to art today is the search for wonderment. To look upon something and be in awe of it. To bask in its glory, to appreciate its existence. I love going to galleries today because of it. If I see an Impressionist painting, I am in awe at how the artist created a startlingly vivid image with only basic brush strokes. When I see a realist painting, I am in awe at how clear an image must be in someone’s head to be able to recreate it so perfectly, almost like they placed their vision of it on a canvas and traced it with paint. When I see a sculpture, when I see a drawing, when I see a piece of conceptual art, when I see all art, I feel this wonderment I cannot describe: someone somewhere was seized by this esoteric urge to create, an urge older than our very species. Their ideas are realised with a variety of materials, their creative vision the mold. I feel this way about everything we create: writing, music, human relationships, everything! This feeling of fascination,awe, of wonderment is something I wish I could condense into a tiny bottle and keep it with me. Shove it into a vape pen and vape it, even.
This feeling is what brings me back to art and creativity, no matter what. When I see the deities in temples, I am in awe at the attention to detail and simple intricateness of them. When I see patterns, I am in awe at what could’ve possibly triggered the artist to make it. In a world, where so much importance is given to knowing, to be sure, and to be aware, where is our endless wonder? Where is our space to be in awe and wonder of the world and us?
I feel this wonderment in all I do, I only recently realised it. When I was inundated with so much love from my friends during my birthday, I could only feel wonder at how lucky I was. When I see my friends being amazing as usual, I am in awe of them, I feel wonderment now. To see the world as a place of endless wonder; that is how I want to live. I haven’t fully achieved that yet, and this is why I love art.
Art replicates this feeling: I look upon a work of art and ponder its meaning, I project my ideas onto it, I consider all the factors surrounding it. I simply bask in its existence, its meaning is completely secondary. I could look at art, music, writing for hours upon hours and simply enjoy its existence. To wonder, to be fascinated by something. It’s something I can’t describe, follow me to a gallery one day and I’ll show you.
I liked this allegory for it: when you come across a work of art, it is inviting you into the fighting cage, the boxing ring. It is a challenge to you, the observer. It challenges you to wonder about its meaning, to engage in it. It challenges you to take the plunge of the crazy, to throw yourself into it and choose your fate. The artwork entices you, seduces you, taunts you. It jeers, pleads, begs for mercy, and negotiates its release. Next time you dismiss a work of art as ridiculous, pretentious or dumb, consider joining the fighting ring. You might find something you never expected. You might find that, gasp, you like art? How could that be? The art market is a scam, it’s pretentious and ridiculous, you’re not an artist. How could you possibly like art?
I welcome you to wonderment.
